Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same. Once you’ve heard Juan you’ve heard Jamal.
(via yeahthathappened)
me when i stay home: i should've gone out
me when i'm around people: i want to be alone
me when i'm alone: i want to be around people
me when i'm mean to people: i need to be nicer
me when i'm nice to people: i need to be meaner
NO BUT SO I WAS WATCHING THE NEW YEAR’S COUNTDOWN IN TIMES SQUARE ON TV
AND THIS REPORTER LADY IS GOING AROUND HOLDING HER MIC OUT SO PEOPLE CAN GIVE SHOUT OUTS
AND SHE ASKS ONE GUY “WHO ARE YOU SHOUTING OUT TO?”
AND HE SAYS “MY MOM”
AND SHE ASKS “WHY?”
AND HE ANSWERS
“SHE HAS NO IDEA I’M IN NEW YORK”
“I’M TWELVE HOURS AWAY FROM HOME”
“SORRY MOM”
(Source: airelixir, via vibejunkee)
A good friend knows when to hold you back.
A best friend knows when to let go and let you rip into a bitch.
Amen.
A BEST FRIEND FOREVER WILL TAKE PICTURES OF YOU RIPPING INTO A BITCH.
(Source: bolinss, via vibejunkee)
i dont think my parents ever dreamed their kid was growing up to be a depressed sarcastic asshole thats addicted to the internet and has more internet friends than real ones
(via vibejunkee)
my mind says homework
but my heart says internet
(Source: obeyrach, via maggzmoonshoes)
lets play “how rude can i be until u realize i dont like u”
(Source: octupac, via maggzmoonshoes)
when people draw me things and say “sorry it’s so shitty”???? u could draw me a stick person and I’d be like wow thank you for spending time on something to give me it’s beautiful you’re beautiful I love you
(via closetaffairs)




